Blog Post #2: The worst is yet to come

Blog post #2 a response to this week’s reading: “Shitty first drafts” by Anne Lamott. To me it was a bit lengthy and rambling for such topic, but the author got the right point. Those awful sickening first drafts could be a problem for just any writer. I’ve met the similar problems. Though I’m not quite a writer in its conventional meaning, I could call myself an amateur: I write Facebook status and Instagram captions, almost every day.

Facebook and Instagram are so far the only platforms I’ve been using to compose my public writing. You might think I’m crazy, but I still feel nervous every time I post something online. I’m not that kind of person who doesn’t really care what people think. I care what people might think and how they would form their judgement based on stuffs I wrote. I am picky and unnecessarily careful in choosing the right words to put on my status. I would lie on my bed staring at the screen, type, delete what’s just been typed, and repeat, and repeat.

Somehow I would get to the end, sigh, and press ‘Post’. And the worst feeling comes when I first reread my post after posting it. I swear it’s the worst feeling I’ve ever had on social networks. It’s not the time when I changed my avatar and people complained about how annoyingly ugly I am. It’s the first “draft” versions that make me feel bad the most. Sometimes it doesn’t stand a chance and I just delete the whole thing, other times I really have the urge to write about the occasion, and try to fix it as quick as possible so people won’t know about the stupid things I wrote.

My experience of ‘shitty first drafts’ is not so vivid, still I can picture myself when reading what Anne has shared. But the worst has yet to come. I have a blog to write, which will later be read and feedbacked by my professor and my classmates. My neurons are going to be stretched even harder this time, but if that’s what it takes to be a blogger, then I’m in.

 

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One thought on “Blog Post #2: The worst is yet to come

  1. “Amateur” comes from the French word for love– amateurs do things not for money, but out of love. Today, the word is pejorative: oh, that is an amateur job… what are you, an amateur? But, like in the Olympics of yesteryear, amateurs were honoured. Thanks for reminding me of this with your excellent blog entry and use of that term!

    Liked by 1 person

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